Monday, January 29, 2007

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G and learning

Payton has always had a zeal to learn. He would like everything explained to him. He asks simple questions, "How do you make ice cream?" and then non -simple questions, "What is the resurrection?" We learned his fascination with spelling one day a while back when we were sitting at a stoplight and heard him spell out B-U-D-W-E-I-S-E-R... He has been spelling and sounding out words ever since.

He especially makes me laugh when he uses this gift like he is a mom..."Would this be a good time to spank B-E-N-J-A-M-I-N?" "Someone might need to take a N-A-P..." or my personal favorite when I am going through the drive-thru at Starbucks and he says, "Does T-O-N-Y know you're here?"

Benjamin continues to bring all of the joy and challenge of being 2. He is an absolute delight (the majority of the time). However, if he could wear a bumper sticker on his pull- up right now it would most likely be, "Zero-tolerance stinks".

Tony and I have realized as of late that we were slipping on a lot of things with Benjamin....trying to avoid tantrums by giving him his way...allowing him to yell, allowing him a lot of things we should not...Tony calls it "parenting out of fear "...It is so easy for us to look up one day and realize this precious child (in the nicest way a 2 year old can)- is running our family. So- for the past 2 weeks we have instituted zero-tolerance...He gets one chance to respond the right way- no more warnings...I do not enjoy this part of parenting...but a conversation with my grandmother has been running continuously through my head. When we went through this with Payton the first time (we have found we have to call ourselves back to zero-tolerance often) I was heart -broken. I remember crying to my grandmother and her saying..."Becky, You will always love your children....but you want other people to as well....Its hard to discipline your children, but its worth it."

Ask me how this is going...Seriously I need the accountability.

10 comments:

Kendra said...

A wise grandmother once told me to win every battle (that I pick) between the ages of 2-5 and the teen years would be so much easier. I'm counting on that to be good advice (or for the Lord to return before the teen years!!). Good luck! You can do it!! Your boys are too cute. I love Payton's spelling story - you must giggle all the time with that cutie.

Courtney said...

I love this! Spelling was always one of my favorite things too. I think zero tolerance no matter the circumstances is one of the hardest things for me to do. Thank you for the reminder of how important it is! And Kendra, I love that piece of advice!

Shelly said...

Man, I can't imagine what wonderful things the Lord has in store for that Payton! Those stories made me laugh out loud. I love the advice---I definitely want other people to love my children too. I guess I would much rather go through the torture of all the strictness/discipline over the next several years of childhood w/ them than to be blogging about my "wayward child" in the teen years. I never knew parenting would be SO HARD on my heart!! And it has only just begun. So thankful for the Lord to help us through this journey!! And so thankful for the wise words from all the sweet grandmothers!!

Randy & Kelly Vaughn said...

Becky,
Great words and great stories!! I need it too! Someone told me that good parenting is inconvienent...I can't put off handling a situation until later, I have to deal with it now while this little one can still connect the correction with his/her behavior...this is hard. I am always in the middle of doing something when someone is needing some immediate inconvienent (to me) correction...ughh...with T,J, and L, it seems that I am constantly trying to inforce something with someone...and many times I am trying to use all my drama skills to find my mean serious face because they make me want to laugh or smile much of the time. Sometimes that mean serious face requires no drama...

I love Mom-o's advice and I heard her say that myself on other occasions!!

Can't wait for you to be here...I am already having conversations with you in my head!

KJV

Mark and Chelsea said...

Zero-tolerance!! I LOVE that. That is exactly what we have had to do for the last few weeks with Carlie, but we didn't have a good name for it. Now we do! :)

Best of luck as you parent...there are so many of us right there with you!! And, you're right. It's so much better to do it now and reap the rewards later. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Ha ha.

Heather V said...

Becky, I love that you can make anything funny. Please figure this parenting thing out and then write a book about it. . . preferably before mine reach grade school. =)

mindy tyndall said...

Oh, how love this story! My favorite time was when they learned to spell and then told US what we had just spelled out to each other. Kids are so fun!
This journey...the one that we are all on..is made so much more joyful by the little feet that march next to ours!
Hugs

emily anna said...

Hi Becky! I stumbled upon your blog and thought I would say hi. I met you at bible study on tuesday... (my husband Jeff went to Tony's study on tuesday). Your boys seem very sweet! I hope to see you next week!
Emily

ABL said...

Becky-
Thank you so much for the example that you are and the encouragement you are to other mothers. I'm looking foward to picking your brain in coming years about raising boys. Thanks for sharing honesly about its triumphs and failures.

Murray & Jaime said...

I'm with Heather...write a book, and please hurry!!

Love your stories and your family!