Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Monday, April 28, 2008


Thank you so much for the comments and prayers...what a blessing to have a group of friends far and wide who lift up my family and I.

My Dr.'s appt. this morning went well. I was given permission to resume life on a much slower pace being ever aware of my body and any signals it might be trying to give towards going in to labor.

I have been extremely emotional today...my tears have flowed freely. Part of my appointment was going over different scenarios and complications to be aware of. None of it should of been surprising, they certainly were not saying "here is what is going to happen", just here are some things we want to be checking...but for some reason it hit me in different way today.

I ponder my heart on days like today. Last week I felt confident and assured. Today I have just felt...sad. I know the Lord has not changed.

I watched Shadowlands last week. (The story of CS Lewis and his marriage to a woman who was dying of cancer) I love that movie. The quotes in it are incredible. At one point in the movie his wife is going into remission and one of his colleagues says,"Now God is answering your prayers." CS Lewis then says, "That is not why I pray. I pray because I cannot help myself. I pray because I am helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me waking and sleeping. Prayer does not change God, it changes me." Certainly our (Mine and CS) situations or wrestlings in life do not compare. Yet that quote has resonated with me. The desperation for the Lord, the helplessness... I long for the Lord to change me as well.

My sister reminded me today that Eden's testimony has begun....May the Lord be magnified in her life and in each member of our family. Thanks for being a part of our life.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Eden Elizabeth

We have a name! Eden- (means the Lord's delight) Elizabeth (after her aunt Kelly Elizabeth means God's beloved)Oh how we love this girl already!

I feel like most are aware of this but here is the email I sent out on Tuesday...


Some of you have already heard this but I wanted to give the quick update. This morning after running a few errands I realized I was bleeding...feeling a bit panicked I called Tony and my OB at the same time. I ended up spending most of the day downtown. I was feeling Eden kicking the entire drive downtown so that was reassuring but the tears of the unknown were still flowing.

They got a heart beat on doppler as soon as I arrived and reassured me it was strong. They did a check, confirmed that the bleeding was not related to anything else and then scheduled a sono for later in the afternoon (as soon as the tech arrived).

The sonogram showed no tears, a healthy baby (already over 1 lb), great fluid level, placenta in good position and Eden sucking on her toes nearly the entire time we watched her. The Dr. believes I have just been doing too much and as a result I will now be on complete bed rest until a Monday AM when I will go to the Dr. to make sure everything is still good.

My parents are leaving in the morning to take the boys to the ranch. They will keep them there until Friday when Tony can take on the tigers full time.

I was telling a friend today that as I laid on that table most of the day I thought of Rick's sermon about being made to lie down in green pastures. We are praying the bleeding stops soon...We are praying I can carry this precious baby girl that we already love so dearly to term (Everything shown today points to the fact that if this bleeding will stop that should not be a problem)...We are trusting that none of the events of today have caught the Lord off-guard. He is in complete control...We will walk in trust of our Father...actually Tony will walk, I will lie down in the green pasture of trust.:)

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

My Favorite Nightmare

The other night around 3 AM I woke up to hear someone sprinting down on our hall. A few seconds later Payton was at my bedside telling me he had just had a terrible nightmare. His heart was racing and he seemed paniced. I picked him up and put him in bed with us and asked him he wanted to talk about it and he said, "No, I just want to be between you and dad." Happy to oblige we each held a hand and went back to sleep.

The next morning at breakfast I asked Payton if he wanted to talk about his dream. He said, "It was awful. I was on a boat." Quick to imagine the terrors that could of come from this I said, "Oh were you by yourself? Did you fall in the water? Did you feel lost?" He said, "No, it was an ocean liner, there were a lot of people." Once again, quick to imagine the terror he had felt I said, "Were you hurt? Did someone grab you?" To which he responded, "No, that ship blew its horn and scared me to death."

Monday, April 07, 2008

Opening day and other Family Happenings

1. Saturday was opening day of t-ball season. The boys were beside themselves...Benjamin more than anyone. He was up at the crack of dawn, fully dressed and stretching for the days events. It was a great day of watching them both have fun.

2. Benjamin is crazy over baseball. We have no way of knowing how long this will last but right now, he is a child obsessed. Both boys get a 30 minute cartoon to watch everyday. Benjamin chooses to watch ESPN or a baseball game Tony has dvred. Last night after (I thought) everyone had been asleep for awhile Benjamin came and said, "Mom, what are you doing?" I responded, "Sleeping." He said, "Mom when you are watching me run around the bases and slide into home are you so proud?" I told him I was. He then said, "What do you think when I swing the bat like this? (and proceeded to demonstrate his best imaginary swing) I told him I loved it and realizing this was turning into a conversation walked him back to bed where he re-lived his game in detail. It is fun watching him enjoy this.

3. Tony was sick with a terrible virus on Friday. It lingered through the weekend. As we were walking into church a friend asked us where Tony was...I responded with, "He has a nasty bug." Later in the evening I heard someone ask Payton where his dad was...He responded with, "My dad has the fleas." We worked on the definitions of "Bug" on the way home.

4. We have been working on our rights and lefts...For some reason Benjamin has labeled his hands, my right hand and my wrong hand.

5. A month ago today I left for Canada...while I was there Benjamin was terribly sick. Tony had the baptism by fire through being up all night long for 3 nights in a row, working during the day and taking care of every need the boys had in between. 4 days into it he shared with me, "We are in survival mode around here." One of my favorite stories that was told to me was this one....Payton, ever my reporter, shared with me the day after I returned- "Mom, you know how there are things, like Scooby Doo that you do not like for us to watch on TV?" I shook my head yes. Payton then said, "Dad says watch whatever you want...just sit down." It certainly brought a smile to my face.

This is probably one of my all-time favorite pictures of our boys. Payton played after Benjamin and this was taken of them walking to the car after Pate's game was over. The were each telling each other how great the other one did. Our hearts were swelling as we walked behind them. I am thankful for pictures like this one that I can call to mind on days like today when these same two sweet ones are in a rolling brawl in the produce section of Walmart or using the toilet at the same time in the doctors office with the door wide open.

Thanks to all of you for your excitement over our precious girl. Your excitement makes it even more fun!