Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Awkward...and 1986

So much of life has returned to normal...amazing how quickly that happens. From my perspective, one of the hardest things about grief is that the world keeps moving...and a part of you is glad...and a part of you grieves more that it has. All the emotions leave me feeling out of place at times...wanting so bad to be in the moment and so aware that my thoughts are a million miles a way.

The other day a precious lady stopped us at the grocery store and was gushing over my kids, she ended her parade of compliments with, "Are you so happy all the time?" My first thought was "My father in law passed away, we have been really sad." Thankfully I had the realization that that would be incredibly awkward and smiled and said, "We really are so thankful for all the Lord has done." Because we are....and we will continue to be...He is so worthy of our praise.



Last night as we were putting the boys to bed Benjamin asked how old God was...
I told him that I had no idea..."God has been God for forever." Benjamin then asked, "Was God, God back in 1986?" I said, "Yes." Payton then added, "1986?! Holy cow, he has been God for forever."


4 comments:

jaime s said...

Love these kids! Praying for you as your grief continues!

Chelsea said...

SO true, Becky. Thanks for putting words to the same feeling I have had this week, as we return to the daily life of carpool and grocery store runs.

Just yesterday, the chick-fil-a guy (who is sadly a familiar face for me) asked the typical question of "how are you?" in the drive thru line. I wanted to say, "Not that great. Last time you saw me I was pregnant and now I'm not." But, I thought the same thing---how awkward for the poor guy who is always so nice to me and my children. :) So, I answered the "right answer", and just drove away and cried. I know it will get better and better, but that first week of "re-entry" to a world that is still moving is tough.

But, I DO love being reminded that God is God! And, He always has been. He holds time in His hands, even ALL the way back to 1986. :) Your kids are SOOO precious! Aren't we glad we have those blessings to make us smile so big each day?!

Lisa Renee said...

That is hillarious! Its weird to me having couples in our class now that were born that year! I am sorry for the loss you are experiencing. I am thinking of you....

Vicki said...

Hey, Beck! Just looking at the color photo of the Brooks Babes and it just hit me that, at least in that instant of time, Sweet Petite Eden looks like Paw!! Just something about that expression...we'll see what the future brings! Love those Brookses!