Biting my nails...

Bow season opened yesterday...Hence this post. Tony is out of range on the cell phone at this moment tracking some animal.

He left me in charge of setting his Fantasy football line up...

Here is the rub....Brian Westbrook. Philadelphia's running back who last week got us 42 points but also strained his abdomen. He did not practice on Friday...so I am thinking I should not start him...But if he plays he could have a field day with the NY Giants defense. You would be embaressed for me if I revealed how much time I have spent researching this...and weighing our options.

These are the thoughts that are racing through my mind this morning

Any last minute fantasy football advice...always welcome.

Observations...

1. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement regarding lectureship. It went well. I was overwhelmed in the best sort of way. The Lord poured out His mercy in more ways than I can recount...I left feeling filled... I continue to pray that others did as well.

2. I loved being a student at ACU...I loved my friends, my teachers, my life in general...Last week though I realized again what a gift it was...and how it keeps giving. Several people I was at school with that I had not seen since (over 10 years now) came to my class...and they encouraged me, they made me laugh and in our breif conversations we shared deeply things that the Lord is doing in our lives and things we hope we will see Him do. I am so thankful for the gift the Lord gave me in my 4 years out there...I left that campus with a light heart this past week.

3. I did the obligatory drive by our old house on Cedar Crest...and was amazed it had not fallen down. I called each of my roommates and as I talked to them I felt like I was in college again...until I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed 2 cars seats, that my car has doubled in length, and I was listening to Woody (from Toy Story) sing you've got a friend in me...even with no kids in the car. I would say I am definitely out of the college scene.

4. My boys have been passing back and forth some type of bug. The other day Payton had a really high fever. My favorite thing about this is Benjamin calls it a beaver. I recognize I need to correct this, but it is the cutest thing I have ever heard to hear Benjamin say in his raspy voice, "Hey does Payton still have that hot beaver on his head."

5. We have somethings in our life right now that we are really wrestling through. The other day I turned up praise music loud in our house...trying to get my focus back where it should be. Payton walked in and said, "what in the world are you doing?" I told him...I am trying to get focused on the Lord Payton...blah, blah blah...way too much explanation on my need to focus on His goodness in the midst of trials for a 5 year old. At the end...He said..."REALLY? sounds to me like you just want to wake up Benjamin and I wanted to remind you that is not something we do around here."

****We just received our deposit back from our vacation...I am stopping this post right now to begin my top 10 vacation moments I will never forget that I wish I could:) Stay tuned...

this and that

So heres the deal on vacation stories...as soon as I get our deposit back from the house Tony says I can begin to speak publicly...until then I better keep my trap shut (my words, not my husbands)...you never know whose browsing these things and might alert the landlord. :) Thanks for all the encouragement on sharing these stories. I assure you they will be the worth the wait.

I am speaking next week at ACU's lectureship...I would so appreciate your prayers. I had mentioned a while back my topic of transparency in the Body of Christ. So often in studying I realize the Lord is revealing some things that I might share them...others that I might change something in myself. I think this time more than ever the list of "that I might change them in myself" was a lot longer than what He revealed that I will share with everyone. It has been convicting, uncomfortable, and exactly what I should of been working on. I am looking forward to it...with a healthy dose of fear, trepidation and full stomach of butterflies. I will share more when I get back.

The other night I had one of those "you have got to be kidding nights" I had just explained to Tony how I had not been sleeping well and how my tasks around the house seemed to mulitply daily...in other words I was having a week when I did not feel like I was accomplishing anything. He encouraged me to go to bed early (And I did). Sometime in the night I woke up to an odd sound (somehow Tony never awakens to these) I got up and walked into our bathroom...what's that? Oh Payton peeing in our bathtub. I stood in amazement and watched...there was no stopping him unless I wanted to swing a solid stream around our whole bathroom. I shook my head, picked him up (He was still asleep) washed his hands, (at least we are hygenic when we pee in the bathtub) and carried him back to bed making a mental note to myself that our bathtub and tub toys must be throughly bleached the next day. I was so tired I immediately went back to bed. It felt like I slept for ever but when I looked at the clock 15 minutes later when I heard an ear piercing scream I realized I had not been. Once again sleeping beauty (whom I married and I love) slept soundly through this. I ran to the boys room to see Benjamin standing on his bed, pants down...you guessed it...peeing. Seriously now. All over everything. I bathed Benjamin (in a different bathtub than Payton had just used), got him new pajamas, got new sheets, piled up his comforter, his mattress pad, his sheets on an already full laundry basket and went back to bed...my list for the next day multiplying as I slept.

I love these 3 boys the Lord has given me. Weeks like this one that feel crazy, dirty, and unorganized I am thankful that the Lord has given me the ability to laugh. In Jeremiah 30 the Lord is giving the Israelites a message through His prophet Jeremiah...he tells Jeremiah to let the people know new days are ahead where "Thanksgivings will pour out of the windows; laughter will spill through the doors." I want our boys to have that view of our home...on some nights there are heavy tears, heavy hearts and a very overwhelmed mom in the middle of it...but if they catch a few glimpses of that thats ok...even more than a few, I am still ok...because overall I want them to reflect on this home and remember that on most days it was a place where thanksgiving poured out and laughter was spilled (along with the entire jug of orange juice when Benjamin was thirsty in the middle of that same night and decided to get himself a drink.) Thank goodness the Lord's words were true for Israel, even now as they are true for us...a new day came for all of us in the form of Christ...May His name be praised.

The latest...

1. We just returned from vacation...we had the most fun and hilarious time. I cannot write about it because Tony says over the internet it will sound like I am exxagerating and making it up. He is right. Ask me about it in person. We rented a beach house sight unseen from a rental company over the internet...I advise you to never do this. Hopefully I will post pictures soon. We went with some of our best friends...we are even closer now. Sleeping in a house that might fall down at any moment and where you can't drink the water will do that for you. We would all do it again in a heart beat. Seriously...I have got some stories.

2. On the second day of our vacation Payton said..."you do not know how nice it is to get away from it all." The kid is 50 in a 5 year old body.

3. My sister told me over the weekend she joined facebook. Today I thought I would check and see her picture. You have to have a profile to check anothers profile...I entered my email and somehow clicked some button where it sent a "i want to be your facebook friend" to every person in my email address book. Thanks to all of you sweet people who responded. My profile on facebook says I turn 47 tomorrow...I wonder how many people will seriously think I am 47. Just an FYI I am not. Not that theres anything wrong with being 47.

4. Today I was bragging on Benjamin for doing a "big job" in the toilet. He looked up at me and said, "mom, if this makes you so happy...I bet I can make another one later."

5. Today we were out of orange juice so I gave the boys apple juice when they got up...Apple juice is not Payton's favorite but I had told him the situation and asked if he still wanted it, he said yes. I am big on them not wasting things after they have said they want something, I am not a fan of saying "I don't like this." so we have been working on other alternatives.He took one drink, wrinkled his nose and said, "My doctor said I should not have apple juice." This is not one of the alternatives we have worked on...

6. My mom has really been struggling with allergies out at the ranch. Her eyes itch, water, are painful etc...Today as we were driving home from walmart Benjamin said, "my eyes are burning so bad I am about to scratch them out.My allergies are killing me out here." Benjamin is a direct quoter with no allergies...We are learning to watch our words carefully around him.He loves to pull out lines whenever he has a crowd.

7. The beach that our house sat on allowed cars on it. A Ford Taurus nearly took out our sand castle...we laughed so hard we cried. You can't make things like this up.

Usually I write 10 things...a nice round number...tonight I will stick with 7 hoping to post more pictures later.

So thankful...

Back by popular demand

And when I say popular demand I mean it...I mean one person has asked me when I am going to start blogging again...(but it was an important person:))

1. I told Payton (expecting him to be beside himself) , "Hey Pate , I think tonight after we eat we are all going to the park..." He smiled and said, "just us?" Me with my huge smile and knodding rapidly head (expecting him to want to run and jump in my arms) His response, "hmmm...would you mind if I called some of my friends..." Wasn't this supposed to start closer to jr. high?

2. The other night I was in Tony and I's closet and Benjamin walked in and said, "Hey mom- get out of dad's stuff..."

3. The other day we had some friends over, when we were getting in the car Payton said, "Mom would you turn on my favorite cd please?" Sure...He then said, "I am sure my friends would really enjoy listening to me sing along..." He then proceeded to hit every high note while his friends looked on in utter amazement...I was laughing so hard...on the inside.

4. We have been having a hard time getting Benjamin to go to bed...as in a really hard time (a couple hours of hard time)...the other night as we contemplated what to do, Payton walked in and said, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to sleep when your mind is full and your stomach is empty?" We later figured out this was a line from Charlettes Web...And we also explained to Payton that Benjamin is 3, eats meals and is not under a great deal of stress.

5. Payton has loved meeting one of his best friends new little brother Owen... The other day he walked in and said, I know how to spell Owen..." I said ok...He said proudly, "O-N" He is still not understanding why they felt the need to spell that differently.

6.Benjamin has been talking a lot about monsters...(Ok maybe he does have some stress)...the other day he was walking around the house playing while saying, "God did not create monsters, I am ok...God did not create monsters, I am ok..." I love it when I get a window to his mind through his self talk...

7. Last weekend we took our dog Maggie to the ranch (2 hours a way) Maggie got sick at her stomach...in a loud disgusting way (repeatedly)...while in the back of the Expedition...it was the worst smell and sound effects in many different ways...the boys were strapped in the back seat 6 inches a way from her.It was terrible ( 2 hours worth of terrible)...these days everytime Maggie moves Payton and Benjamin flinch and make these comments, "not today Maggie..." "this would not be in your best interest Maggie" "You best watch your self Maggie"

8. The other day I heard Payton talking to someone in the restroom...I peeked in to see him standing on the stool looking at himself in the mirror, these were his exact words, "Tonight Tori beat you in a race, that's ok, she is 8. Yesterday you won tag...everyone was smaller than you. You are fast and getting faster, everyones says so. Don't worry about Tori."

9. Today Benjamin asked if he could pray ...in the middle of the prayer he said, "oh Lord, help me stop whining..." It brought a smile to everyones face, along with a glimmer of hope that the Lord will answer his prayer.

10. Benjamin' s potty training is once again going great...we have figured out that the promise of a m and m was huge... we also told Payton that he would also receive a m and m if he was encouraging to Benj in this process...Patyton is very creative in his praise..."Oh Benjamin, no one has ever used the potty like that before." "Benjamin you are amazing." "Benjamin. Oh my word, you have talent." ---That last one is my favorite...Needless to say they bring smiles to everyone when we are using the restroom in public places.

11. Lately the boys are crazy over baseball. They want to play all of the time....They are having so much fun playing catch in the house at nights...for awhile Tony was also letting them bat...All good things must come to an end when a family picture is broken :). Here are the latest pictures...

Pate catches a fly ball.

Payton throws them out at home...

Impressive catch!




Benj makes the play in the outfield.

Everyone was laying on the floor after the game...this was too cute to pass up!

Getting back in the game...

1. My dad returned home from Sudan yesterday...thank you so much for all of your prayers...They have great stories of doors opening and doors closing. Most of all they have stories of people receiving help, receiving care, receiving prayer... Today he and my mom celebrate their 38th anniversary. We love them so much and celebrate daily the joy of their marriage...it continues to bless their children and grand-children. ( I love Andy in the background of this picture trying to make Benj laugh.)

2. People continue to ask what it is like to have my sister and her family home. It is all kinds of wonderful. Last weekend I was able to pick up my nephew Jonathan and take him to a birthday party, it was such a great feeling to be able to do that. I love talking to Kelly and knowing we are not going to get cut off. My sister left for Benin before I had even met Tony. So much has changed since we last lived our lives in the same area...So many great times ahead...I am loving every minute of it! She can leave a comment to say how she is too. (just a little test to see if the Vaughns are still reading.)

3. I mentioned in a previous post that Benjamin talks himself to sleep. Payton goes to sleep immediately...sometimes Benjamin needs to feel like someone is listening even if they are sound asleep...he just needs to know someone is there. In other words sometime we look in Payton's bed and see this. Oh how we love these boys.

4. I talked to Benjamin the other day about how now that he is three we should start working on not sucking his thumb, He looked back at me and said with the sweetest grin, "I gonna suck my thumb till I an old man." OK...I will save that argument for another day.

5. Payton has moved up to 200 piece puzzles...He loves them...If I ever mention someone is coming over he runs to complete 3 or 4 of them so "they will have something to look at when they come in." I love it...It gives him something to do for about 5 minutes.:)

6. Parenting is the most wonderful, yet exhausting thing Tony and I have ever been apart of. We have never wanted anything like we want to have kids that grow to reflect the Lord and His heart for His people. (even as I type that I realize that sometimes it feels like we would do good to just keep them from screaming and falling prostrate in public places.)Some days (most days) I wonder what we are doing...and I recognize on a deeper level my absolute desperation for the Lord. May His grace continue to abound. Today I called my mom and said, "thanks again for raising us...and I am sorry" (and proceeded to list of many times I know I made their job more difficult.) Yep, it was that kind of day.

7.We eat at the Cracker Barrel every week...Sometimes we take pictures...We are nerds...Nerds that love hot biscuits.

8. A couple of weeks ago my sister and I got to spend sometime with our cousin Julie and her husband Steve. It is a great gift to be related to J and S an even greater gift to know their hearts for each other and the Lord. We love you guys so much. (just a little test to see if Julie is still reading.:)) Plus I had to show a picture of Julie (who is beautiful and by the way does not age) and of Kelly (who looks so beautiful in this picture) and of me (because what is that lump on my head?)

9. My two tigers...

10. I am speaking next month on the need for transparency in the Body of Christ. I was deeply convicted last year when 2 friends had their marriages fall apart and did not feel like they could tell anyone before it was too late (one has reconciled the other has not)...One said, "It just felt like everyone else's life was so perfect, we did not want people to know we were struggling." In the same week another friend confessed some issues she had been struggling with for years...and had not talked about...She too said, "it felt like no one else wanted to hear my problems." Over and over again in the same week I was faced with different people, different problems, same issue.... they did not feel like church was a place they could share their "not perfectness".

The Lord brought a deep conviction to my heart of wanting this to be different...and it has not left...but I have to confess my conviction these days looks more like a wrestling match as I have realized the difference begins with me being different. I am struggling at the core of me with the nakedness of vulnerability. I am steeped in sin. There is a deep ache in me that I try to fill with a multitude of things besides the Lord. I want to crawl in a hole. I want to put on a great act...and be good at pretending. Its easier (thats a lie) It feels better (another lie) People like me better (another lie) The fact is the human race started hiding from God and others in the Garden of Eden and many have not stopped. I don't have an answer to this. Jesus did at the cross. I am wrestling with it daily...wanting it to take root, while at the same time wanting to wallow deep in complacency. Like I said, its a wrestling match.

Happy Birthday Kadi Lael!

2 years ago Kadi Lael Vaughn entered the world...She is a joy to our family...A perfect mix of girly and spunky...We are crazy about her!

Please pray for my dad!

Many of you are aware that this past Saturday was a landmark day for our family. We gathered around my dad with tears, with full hearts, placed our hands on him and his team-mates and cried out to the God of our lives to be His shield as he makes his way into a unknown territory to us...but one that is close to the heart of our Father. I copied pieces of an email sent by my mom to give you a view of our heart's cry...


"I feel that most of you are aware that Morton left yesterday for the country of Sudan along with a great team of men. . (There are several African brothers meeting them in Kenya ...church leaders from Zambia, Ghana and Kenya). They plan to go into Sudan on Tuesday.

This trip is different from any Africa trip that our family has been a part of. I am sure you are somewhat aware of the situation in the country of Sudan. Over the past few months we have been made more aware. This email is coming to you on behalf of our family and all the families involved in this trip. The men on this trip did not approach this trip casually. Many meetings, planning and much prayer have transpired over the past six or seven months. The family prayer time last Tuesday evening was both a challenge and a blessing.

They will fly into Sudan. Their destination is in the north. It is the rainy season in Sudan. The (dirt) roads to the north are impassable . They will have to go in small planes. It is like I told a friend on Saturday night, If I did not know the Lord well I would be so afraid.

They go with the heavy call of the Lord on their hearts. They are going up close to some of the most harassed and helpless of our time. They are going into the middle of ones who are living & dying without hope. They are going into a nation that is not anxious to make anything easy for Christians. They are going to a nation that desperately needs Jesus.

As they go in to spy out the land, to sense if doors are cracked open enough to go and mission and minister in someway, pray for them to go under the blanket of our Lords protection. Pray for them to have both the eyes and the same spirit that God gave Joshua and Caleb. Oh, we pray that they comeback with good reports of great work that we can do for our Lord. May they come back with an excitement and vision that others cannot help join.

I know I do not need to tell you how to pray...but you also know that I can't help but lay out a few things that are on my heart!

Pray for safety but so much more than safety. Pray for eyes to see and ears to hear and courage to act.
Pray for them to be wise at every turn and for fear to have no foothold...unless it is direction from the Lord to change direction....again...may the Spirit of the Lord be so strong and heavy that they make no mistake about direction.
Pray boldly whatever the Lord puts on your hearts to pray.

As family spokesperson, I say you are receiving this email because we know you pray, but more importantly we know the God to whom you pray. We boldly ask for your prayers on behalf of our husbands, fathers, grandfathers and sons. We ask you to boldly pray for the nation of Sudan.

Pray for God to give you a burden for Sudan. If He gives you the burden He will empower you to carry the burden and to act for Him.

We love you dearly.

suzyj for all the j. offspring"

A friend asked me yesterday if I felt scared...I think more than scared I feel pensive...eager to see what the Lord will do, thinking a lot about how I long for His will to match mine. Fear creeps in every once in awhile, but rather than gripping my heart, I feel it clairifying my thoughts, causing me to cry out to the Lord about things that matter rather than the things that too often claim my thought process. Through the years I am ashamed to admit I have prayed casually for the people of Sudan. Lately, they are heavy on my heart...I am longing that the God we serve will make a way, that His kingdom would advance through a cup of cold water, through much needed food and medical supplies, that His Presence would be made known to a people who cry out for relief. I continue to pray Psalm 20 over my dad and the other men who have gone and over the nation they have gone to...


"God answer you on this day,
The name God-of-Jacob put you out of harm's reach,
Send reinforcements from Holy Hill,
Dispatch from Zion fresh supplies,
Exclaim over your offerings,
Celebrate your sacrifices,
Give you what your heart desires,
Accomplish your plans.
When you win, we plan to raise the roof
and lead the parade with our banners.
May all your wishes come true!
That clinches it—help's coming, an answer's on the way,
everything's going to work out.
See those people polishing their chariots,
and those others grooming their horses?
But we're making garlands for God our God.
The chariots will rust, those horses pull up lame—
and we'll be on our feet, standing tall.
Make the king a winner, God;
the day we call, give us your answer."

May it be Lord, May it be.

Payton is 5!

5 years ago today our hearts became exposed to the world...5 years ago today we welcomed our first son. We knew that we loved this child while he was in the womb, but when he entered the world, when we heard his first cry, when we looked into his eyes...something broke in us that could never be repaired...Our hearts broke wide open with love that could not be contained...We have been crazy about him ever since.

He is so animated while at the same time being so serious. He makes us crazy by correcting our English when we are trying to discipline him. He makes us laugh with his expressions...the first thing he said this morning was, "just look at me...I thought I was going to be an adult today and nothing even happened, I am still just a kid, I don't know if I am really 5 or not." He loves his family with an unswerving loyalty even at this young age. He feels free to discipline his brother while at the same time begging us not to. He is very particular about his hair...for that matter his look altogether...he does not get the part of his brother that is comfortable wearing whatever he puts on and tries to have discussions with his brother to change his mind. He loves his dad and begs him to take him to work with him. He melts his mom's heart by saying multiple times a day how proud he is of me. He loves puzzles, he loves math, he loves trying to catch rattlesnakes. He would much rather be at the ranch on a four wheeler than anywhere.He, too, loves his cousins, for that matter all of his relatives. He can bring tears to my eyes rather quickly by looking out the window as we drive by the assisited living home where my grandmother lived (before she went to Heaven) and saying, "Man- I miss Mom-o." I love how he calls all of his friends "one of his best." I love, love, love, when he is doing his chores and I hear him singing praises to the Lord at the top of his lungs...

There are of course many things that we are continuing to work on with our "Pate"...he often feels a bit too comfortable objecting when someone is trying to correct him. He would prefer that everyone allow him to run his life without questions or comments, unless of course you have a word of praise for him. But my goodness...line up every child in the world and his parents are still running at top speed to make sure we get to pick him first. All the things that make him- him...make us proud to call him ours. We could not do without a one of them. We cherish every moment we have with him....knowing that a lifetime will still feel too short. We love deeper because he is ours, we laugh harder because he is ours, We are closer to the Lord because he is ours. May the Lord be praised for this life, for these 5 years of sheer greatness...and may the Lord continue to heap His gifts upon this child...we look to Him to reveal His plans for our boy. Thank you Lord!

Benjamin is 3!

Oh how we love this child! Benjamin is the perfect mix of tender, tough and pure hilariousness. We have never seen anyone like him. He is constantly going for a laugh...always wanting to make people smile...He is quick to offer his love...quick to offer his opinion...and quick to steal people's hearts.

I remember when he was about 3 months old telling my mom, Benjamin has something in his eyes that lets me know he has a bit more spunk than your average bear. Little did I know his eyes spoke volumes of the truth. Benjamin is eager to test boundaries, on a daily basis he demands that the rules be laid out again. Benjamin has yet to grasp why when he wants something it does not happen immediately. Benjamin has the ability to bring entire restaurants into awed silence as he screams, lays prostrate and demands that he be allowed to run into the parking lot without anyone holding his hand. He loves talking on the phone. He loves his Precious. He is wild about his cousins and lists them off each night to the Lord from Florida to DC to local. He loves to sword fight with his dad. He can say cheeeeeese for a photographer for at least 30 minutes without ever taking a breath, all the while never really smiling. He is crazy about his brother...unless that brother happens to laugh or smile when Benjamin is feeling somber...then we are launched into the age -old sibling argument of, "He is laughing at me..." which has the ability to last longer than this mother can handle. He loves quesadillas from Taco Bueno and a chocolate chip cookies from Starbucks. He is quick to tell anyone that his favorite place to go is either the ranch or Wal-mart. Benjamin wants to talk himself to sleep...which often means he will come and find someone to talk to...We've had many late night conversations that are treasures to me...others have been lost in the grogginess of life that surrounds me at 1 AM.

Oh how we love him...the parts that melt our hearts, the parts that make us sweat through our clothes in public, the parts that need correcting, the parts that bring tears of joy to our eyes...because all of those little traits combine to make the son we love. We tell him all the time the Lord placed him in our family and we could not be more thankful. We anticipate great things for this little man. We celebrate him with great joy all the while raising our hands in thankfulness to the giver of this good gift...only HE could give a gift so sweet. May His name be praised for the life of our Benjamin!

Benj on his new Diego scooter that his brother picked out for him for his birthday...He said its all he is ever wanted!

Yesterday

I woke up wide awake a few hours ago...my mind swirling with a list of things that need to be accomplished...that most likely should of been accomplished weeks ago. My mind then turned to different family members...things that are going on in their lives, thing of concern, things of great joy...and slowly as thoughts progress to another level they turn into prayers, cries to the Lord who knows every thought before I have them...and yet He still turns an ear to hear me when I articulate them all over again. How thankful I am that we have a listening God.

June 26th was and is a life changing day for our family. 14 years ago my cousin Mandy was on her way to church on a Sunday morning when she was hit by a drunk driver and went home to be with the Lord. She was wonderful, beautiful, funny, and a complete joy to her family, immediate and extended. Words fail to describe a life so well lived...14 earthly years later, she still is a part of my daily thoughts...influencing the way I live, influencing the way I parent, influencing who I am. I sure miss her.

Tagged...(Twice)

For the latest on my sister, please check their blog http://rkvaughn.blogspot.com/...(knowing their list of people who read their blog is quite a bit larger than mine, I feel like I am experiencing my 15 minutes of fame when they let me post on it.:))


I have been tagged on 2 different things...I am working on Chesley's and then will try to complete April's tomorrow. I am terrible at these..but there is a special thrill in being tagged so here is my lame attempt at a response...

First memory - Going into my room and putting on multiple pairs of underwear, shorts, and then a pair of pants because my mom had told me to go wait in my room until she got in there to spank me. She was not amused.

First real kiss - He remains a good friend who reads this blog...I will let him keep his anonymity.

First concert - Amy Grant...I wore a pink and grey sleeve-less, v-neck argyle sweater, pink walking shorts, white knee socks and my white penny loafers and my mom hot rolled my hair. I know this because I remember thinking, "I look so cute, I bet she calls me up on stage to sing with her." She did not notice...her loss. (Oh to have a bit of that self- confidence back.:))

First love - my Strawberry Shortcake doll collection. The night I got tea-time turtle who pulled the wagon/picnic table I layed awake all night so excited to play with it.

First crush - Most likely Willie from Little House on the Prairie. He looked good in a pair of suspenders

First thing you think in the morning - My alarm goes off at 5:01 and daily I debate whether I should go work out or not...

First book you remember loving - "Who is coming to the Butterfly Ball?" My grandmother read it to us while we sat in her lap and ate jelly beans...great memory.

First pet - John Pecan, our cat. After John Pecan went to his maker we started our weanie dog business with Dusty Bottoms and Yo.

First question you'll ask in heaven - I am assuming this after I have fallen to my knees and spent a couple of thousand years praising the Lord..."Where is the Ferris Wheel?" (I will explain this on a later post.)

First thing you think of when you hear the word vacation - I better check how much money is in our vacation envelope.

First best friend - My sister...We shared a room and a double bed for the first years of our life. I slept with one of my legs over her because I knew if anyone ever tried to kidnap her it would wake me up and I could stop them.

Last time you dressed up - When Tony and I went to Del Friscos Father's Day weekend.

Last thing you ate - Uncle Ben's Chicken whole grain rice with terriyaki sauce poured over it...I love that stuff...

Last CD you bought? Honestly- who knows...I would be willing to bet it was some type of Kid's praise...we really do not listen to much of anything else. My brother still burns "cool" cds for me that's one of the reasons I still seem so "with it and in the know." :)

Last time you cried - On Saturday night when we sang the words "All who are weary, all who are weak...Come to the Fountain, dip your hearts in the stream of life. Let the Pain and the Sorrow be washed away, in the waves of His mercy, as deep cries out to deep. We sing, Come, Lord Jesus Come." I thought of Kelly and Randy, of my mom, of other families I know and pray for who are wading through deep and hard times and I wept...begging the Lord that They might feel Him come in a very real sense into their situations.

Last time you told someone you loved them - My kids multiple times through out the day...Also Tony everytime we talk on the phone...Really everyone I talk to...I could possibly be accused of overuse of the word...but I really do mean it when I say it.

Last really funny thing you did - I laugh hard every single day but as for something funny I did... Who knows?

Last thing you watched on TV - Backyardigans I love the episode where they are looking for Tiki Beach. Should anything major ever occur in our world and they do not break into Noggin to announce it, please call us...I guarantee you we will be shocked.

I tag - You- go ahead respond...

Swim lessons

Benjamin has insisted on wearing the hat he got at his friend's Thomas the Train birthday party all week. Needless to say, he makes everyone smile as we pass. He also thought, "Why go with flip flops for poolside attire, when red boots go just as well?" Of course, he chooses to wear them without socks for quick pool access. They are not as easy to slip on when wet. These were taken on the day that I could not find Benjamin for his class. He was hiding in the corner, hoping we would all just forget he was there.

These were the 2 sides of Benjamin all week. He was thrilled to be there, he was a bit ticked to be there. Overall, he loved Ms. Jody and all his precious friends that he swam (term used loosely) with!

The highlight for both boys was their dad showing up for the closing class.

Payton and Mason...There were 3 boys in Payton's class. I said you sure have made some great friends and he told me , "really, we are more like brothers." So if any of you are looking for a bonding experience, swim lessons are where its at! :) We had an awesome 2 weeks. So much fun watching the boys develop new skills, so much fun getting to spend quality time with the other moms.

Our Jr. High nephew told Payton that all the cool kids pose like this...I need to tell him it looks cool with your shirt on...right here he just looks extremely modest!:)

Beside ourselves!

I just had the joy of sending out this email!


Dearest praying friends-

I got the call today while we were at swim lessons that we had been praying for...The Lord has moved and it is looking like Lael could possibly be granted a Visa this Friday...My eyes swim with tears just typing it! May the Lord continue to praised. If that occurs we could have at least some of the family coming home this Sunday.

Proverbs 13:12 says, ""Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around." the Lord has given us our sudden good break and people with Jeffrey and Vaughn blood are rejoicing around the world with tears and hands raised...more importantly though, people who share in the blood of Christ, our incredible extended family, are lifting up praise for this turn of events. Thanks for praying with us, hoping with us, and for rejoicing with us!

We'll keep you posted!
Becky

***Kelly and Randy are doing a great job keeping everyone up on the details at http://rkvaughn.blogspot.com/

In a nutshell...

1. Thanks so much for those of you who continue to lift up my sister and her family up. They were supposed to arrive at DFW today. I was feeling sick at heart this morning as I prayed, I am well aware there are far worse things that could be happening in our family, and yet I also now see us living out Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick. " The Message nails it with , "Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around."I am still holding on to the thought that they will get a phone call this week that says...You are a go. That sudden good break has got to be around the corner. Somehow, someway it will happen...You will hear a loud cheer and praise to the Lord when it does.

2. There is no better way to ensure that your child will develop problems with potty training than to announce on the WWW that they have got it down. As we were enjoying lunch with our friends sweet Benjamin said, "Excuse me mom, do have any other clothes for me?" As soon as I saw his face I knew what he had done. I promptly picked him up (quite gingerly) and carried him to the parking lot where we were given a diaper (Thanks Eli) to put Benjamin in. While I was giving him the baby wipe bath in Cracker Barrel parking lot Benjamin said, "Do you think this is funny?" I said, "No, not right now..." He said. "Thats ok mom, we can just laugh about this later."

3. Over Memorial Day weekend my dad and Tony decided it was time to tag and castrate some of the spring calves...We decided to go watch, not knowing that watching meant you actually got pulled into the whole process. The boys loved cheering on their dad, but one of their highlights was when they saw their Precious get in there and start mixing it up. (Don't worry, Suzy did not castrate anything, just helped hold the gate.) I was happy to just be in charge of taking pictures. By the way, Benjamin is going crazy missing his Precious (we are too, the rest of us just are not as vocal.)

4. Swim Lessons...we have made it through 5 with 3 more to go. This morning Payton walked in,looked around at everyone, and said, "I am really feeling nervous this morning, I don't want to be here, I wish I knew how this would go..." No one but me was listening...and I had to smile...Payton is many things, but no woman will ever accuse him of internalizing his emotions. Both boys love the water, just not the feel of going underwater. Baby steps...everyday a bit closer. My brother reminded me today we were in jr. high before we stopped physically holding our nose and I think we turned out ok.

5. My dad got back in town just in time for Father's day. We were all ready to see him. We had a good time laughing and eating together...so thankful for all the men in our lives who have shown us what being a dad is all about. I could not be more thankful for the dad I have, the dad he had, the dad my mom had, the dad my brother-in-laws are to my nieces and nephews, the dad my brother is,the dad my husband has, the dad my husband is...they all model the Heavenly Father's love in such a beautiful way. We celebrated them all yesterday!

6. Our neighbor asked us to keep her cat...(at this point everyone who knows us well groans) I said, no problem...All we had to do was feed her once a day, it was only 3 days, she said I would probably never even see the cat, NO problem. We literally had a 2 minute conversation about it. Then later, (At approximately 11:30 at night later) she calls back and explains to our answering machine (everyone knows the Brooks family has not seen the other side of 10 since we put our wedding rings on.), that she forgot to mention the cat is free bleeder (WHAT?!), that sometimes it gets into fights (WHAT?!), that I need to walk their back yard several times a day to see if I see any large pools of blood and if I do find the cat, she will probably be really angry, (Sure) and get her to the hospital in Southlake. (At which point Tony paused the answering machine to say "Not in one of our cars.") We did make it through the weekend with no blood anywhere. I have never been so happy to return a box of cat food in my life.

7. The other day we were at Chick-fil-a when Payton ran out of the play area and said , "Benjamin is really stuck this time." Assuming he meant in one of the tube slides I walked in to talk Benjamin down. What he meant was he was literally stuck. Somehow (our boy is a monkey) he had been climbing on top of the tube slide fallen and gotten caught between the tube slide and the plastic grate that keeps the kids from going under the play equipment. I could see his little feet dangling on one side and see his head on the other. I could not move him. Thankfully Tony was there to pull the tube slide to the side so I could lift Benjamin out. He was also able to deliver the "let's use the slide the way it was intended speech" with a little more oomph than me.

8.Yesterday I talked to my niece Bailey who has the cutest voice I have ever heard...We had a great conversation that ended with her saying,

Bailey: "Hey Aunt Becky?"

Becky: "yes, Bailey"

Bailey: "I am a lot cuter than you remember."

My other favorite Bailey quote is when she was talking to Emille (her mom) about her sister Brylee, (who is one) and said, "I sure wish I knew Spanish so I could know what Bry is saying." I love being an aunt.

9. Tony and I got a gift card from my brother to Del Friscos for Christmas. We used it this weekend for the best dinner ever. We had so much fun laughing and talking about life. Nights out always remind us we should do that more often. Its always hard to leave our kids, but we always come back to them better parents, for the simple reason that we are reminded of why we fell in love with each other in the first place. Sometimes a reminder is good, even when you don't really think you need it.

10. While Andy was in Pakistan we prayed for him constantly. Both boys would join in often through out the day. Not really knowing geography (We are working on it :))they do the best they can. We loved how every night Payton would close out his prayer with , "and Lord, we ask that you would always help Andy to remember to pack his stand."

A grip on hope

We have been feeling scattered for a little while now.

My brother Andy, just returned from Pakistan safely last night.

We just got word that my dad is on American soil after 2 weeks in Benin helping Kelly and Randy wrap up what has been an amazingly successful, glory to God, 9 years of minstry.

My parents went to help turn off the lights and bring my sister and her family home. This is an email one of Kelly's dearest friends just sent out...

"Randy and Kelly urgently need your prayers. They were copied on an email to the Embassy in Ghana on Monday that their fingerprints cleared. Since then, they have heard nothing from the Embassy. Their contact person there is not responding to them and they have no idea where they fall on the priority list for processing. There is a lady there who must process their documents, however, she is only there through mid-July and will not return again until September. She is not returning their calls or emails. If their clearance is not processed before she leaves, the Vaughns will be stuck in Cotonou until September. The worst part is that NO ONE is responding to their inquiries right now. They are discouraged and frustrated. Please pray (and pass on to those who you know will pray along with us) that they will receive a word from the Embassy immediately and that their paperwork will be processed quickly. Once they receive the ok from the Embassy, it will take only 3 days to process the immigrant visa their daughter needs to leave the country.

God has the power to change all of this immediately. PLEASE CLAIM THIS WITH US!!!"

You gather from that that obviously, the bringing them home part did not happen. My mom has remained, hopefully to return soon with My sister, Randy and 4 precious children. Please join us in asking the Lord to bring this chapter of the adoption story to a close.

I have been claiming for my sister,Randy, for their kids and for all who love them and pray for them these verses of Lamentations 3...

"But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. We won't be consumed. His promises are created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left. "

The Latest

1. Benjamin ate 3 whole pieces of Boston Market turkey yesterday! He turns 3 in 2 months so why is this significant? Because this is the first meat he has actually eaten in his entire life. He has perfected eating the crust off of a chicken nugget, or taking the tiniest bite of a hamburger (a bite that is invisible to the naked eye) but yesterday he actually got full on an actual protein source. He then took a 4 hour nap. I wonder if its the first time he has ever been full. Sometime I can write a whole post on Benjamin's journey with eating, its involved lots of drs, therapists, phone calls, and tears...we seem to be moving forward! YEA!

2. We are still waiting on the last piece of paperwork to make Lael's adoption final. Please join us in praying that will come through. Kelly and Randy are scheduled to leave mid June- the paperwork has got to come soon for that to occur...Please Lord, may it be.

3. The other day as we were driving I threw my bannana peel out the window. I have always heard if its bio-degradeable thats ok...Is that wrong? Payton screamed like a maniac not to ever do that again and then said, "How are you going to feel when some car slips on that?"

4.Somehow in my mind I always imagined the Lord would only give you one strong willed, out spoken child...Who knows where I got that thought I certainly grew up with more than that in my home but...the other day when Benjamin looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have asked you nicely not to touch me again." I knew...Wow...Here we go once more.

5. On Mother's Day I was talking to the boys about how thankful I was to be their mom, did they realize without them I would not be a mom, etc...Payton said Benjamin is who made me a big brother...Will Someone make Benjamin a big brother? We told them maybe some day (NO hopes up yet...we plan on having "A team" and then "B team" with many years in between the teams***) and said, if you could have another brother, what would you name him? Benjamin immediately said, "Wilbur" Payton said, "No, I think Jesus is better."

6.Payton has started working on learning the countries of Africa, through a puzzle we just got him. He loves working puzzles...He is so proud everytime he plugs Benin in its right place. We have started praying over that puzzle when he finishes it everyday. Some of our family members (outside of my sister) have several big trips looming in the future to parts that continue to be war torn....I have been convicted of how easily I forget the Lord's children are perishing, children are being handed machine guns and being asked to fight, family are being torn a part...We ask the Lord to come in power, to use those willing to go, to give us a picture of how we can be a part of His plan for Africa.

7. I seem to go through seasons of being really introspective ( I am sure everyone does.) I write a lot more, analyze myself a lot more, evaluate my actions, reactions, what I have done, what I have not in the past year, etc...I always end these seasons with the same thought. I am desperate for the Lord. Without Him, I am nothing...the only good in me is Him. I am thankful He brings me back to this place often.

8. We are loving Uncle Ben's 90 second rice packets (they're the orange ones)...Seriously, love the Santa Fe, love the Chicken whole grain, Long grain and wild...Is it bad that I think our family could possible live a happy life on just these and Zone bars...(Tony would also need a pound of fresh fruit and vegetables on a daily basis to be truly happy.)

9. I don't want to ever forget the joy it brings me to hear our boys feet running on wood floors...I know that pitter patter will go away as they get bigger and their stride gets longer...Right now that sound brings such a smile to my heart. (except of course when its in the middle of the night accompanied by screaming.)

10.Introspection takes me to Ecclesiastes...I have been mulling over 6:10, "Everything has already been decided. It was known long ago what each person would be. So there is no use arguing with God about your destiny."**** I really am not tempted (at least at this point) to argue...maybe discuss a bit, but not argue. I just long to know Him better, to feel more at home in His destiny for me and for my family. I am asking for Him to take me to a deeper trust level.

***on #5...when speaking of family planning we are always reminded the Lord has a plan. So many who are dear to us have struggled with or continue to struggle with infertility, to act like we can say, we will have another baby this particular year seems arrogant. It could very well be the Lord sees our family as complete right now. We are mindful of that. Life is His to give...

****on #10 Eccelsiastes 6:11 says, "the more words you speak, the less they mean. So why over do it?" Should of read that before I typed this post...Yikes.

Closing ceremonies

This is a little like "where's Waldo" Can you find Benjamin in this picture? He was not really on board with the idea of a group shot.

The boys had their closing ceremonies at the Little Gym this week. Andy was able to come over...the thing that cracked me up about that was Andy brought his intern with him. The guy was having his first day on the job and they come to The Little Gym. The boys absolutley loved it...and I think the intern was really impressed :).

Payton never lacks for enthusiasm...Everyone raise their hands when they get their medal. However, not everyone tries to stay up there and give an acceptance speech.

Benjamin never the one to conform held his hands down...

Happy Day Tony!

One of the sweetest gifts the Lord has given me in the past year is a friendship with Peggy. I have never known anyone so encouraging, so ready to inspire, so willing to give towards the furthering of the Lord's Kingdom. Her every action is sifted through the thought of am I blessing others in the name of Jesus? I truly am mesmerized by her consistency, her joy, and the way she, with such great ease, works the testimony of what the Lord has done in her life into every conversation. I love her!

Because I never surprise Tony...(I get too excited and tell him the second I think of one that would be good, a quality he thinks is funny.), I thought it would be great if for his birthday I could actually pull one off. I asked Peggy, knowing how much Tony loved and respected Byron, if there was anyway I could bring dinner for the 3 of us, come out to the ranch, and have her tell us his stories, their stories...So last night, I told Tony we were going to pick up Babe's chicken fried steaks and go eat somewhere fun. It would of been enough for Tony if we had sat out in the driveway, instead he got the royal treatment. I smiled through tears many times at the sheer sweetness of the night. Peggy set the table with the china you get when you win The Masters, Byron's hat was the center piece, candles were lit, I actually saw Tony catch his breath when we walked in. To say he was surprised was the understatement of the year.

I could go on and on...It was a magnificent night. Tony said it was the best birthday he has ever had. I knew it was special when 9 PM came and went, 10 PM came and went...those of you who know Tony's disciplined schedule know this was huge. We were crazy...out past 11 on a school night.:)

Tony and I talked on the way home about why he thought it was the best gift ever. There are many men that the world label as great. Men who are extraordinarily talented in one way or another, and we give them respect for those gifts. Yet, last night, we were reminded that there are few men that carry those talents all the while humbly pointing to the Lord. My mom used to tell us when we were kids, "It takes a steady hand to hold a full cup." Last night we witnessed up close people who possessed such steadiness, a true gift from the Lord. We were blessed and yet incredibly challenged by the the legacy that Byron has left and by his wife who loves him so.

Happy Birthday to Tony...34 years ago today he entered the world...8 years ago today we went on our first date...This day is my favorite mile-marker of the year. What a day! What a man! So thankful, He's the Lord's, so thankful he's mine!